College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sorry about my life...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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