You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
