I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This toilet bowl is my home.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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