i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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