I think my fart just growled at me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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