She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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