Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
