Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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