IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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