You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
