I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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