that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
