strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
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I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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