I'm drive I can fine osifer
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
