I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
