I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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