You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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