Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
