Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
