he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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