he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
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Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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