that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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