But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
