We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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