I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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