I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
