I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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