i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
