i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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