And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
