i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I still have a little drunk in my system
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
