Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
