TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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