Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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