Please, let me fuck your mom
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
