UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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