I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
