dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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