Im at strip club and am horny
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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