I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
