I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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