Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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