I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He felt like a one man threesome
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
did you just send me my own nude
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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