thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?