no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."