dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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