i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Let's get the cat blown out
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
