Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
