it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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