I can text with my tongue
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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