I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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