You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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