It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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