Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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