ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I would fuck him just for his dog
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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