I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He better not be in your backpack
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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