She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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