pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
