Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
