Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize