the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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