I love black thongs
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
