But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
wanna go halves on a baby?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
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What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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