It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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