She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
